A toddler or preschooler, who will have been aware of marital tension before the separation, may still react with feelings of anger at the custodial parent, whom he may blame for sending the other parent away. He will often regress in his behaviour, and become dependent and clingy. Even the briefest separations may be protested and poorly tolerated. Behaviour and social relationships may deteriorate. Sleep problems are common, and aggressive behaviour towards siblings and peers causes additional stress for the parent.
Older children, in addition to the reactions described, may feel guilty that they are somehow responsible for the separation, believing that if they had behaved better or differently, it would not have occurred. Often there is yearning for the absent parent. Sadness and even overt depression are common.
Adolescents may feel intense anger at one or both parents, and may feel loyal and protective to one of the parents. Somatic complaints, such as stomach aches and headaches are common, and there may be problems with schoolwork and with peer relationships. Acting-out behaviour (such as talking back or open hostility) common to adolescents, may be accentuated. One of the developmental tasks of adolescence is to separate from the family, and this is made more difficult if there is separation and divorce during this period. They worry about their own ability to have successful relationships later in life.
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